that kind of walk- again!

I think that one of the hardest things about being a mum is the loneliness that comes from spending the majority of your time at home with the children.  maybe it's different if you go back to work and maybe it's different once your children start school and you can have large amounts of time to yourself.  But, currently,  at this preschool age I am finding things tough and feeling quite isolated.  It's not that I don't have a wide circle of friends, may of whom I have met since having children, but with all the little ones attending preschool on different days meeting up is becoming harder to do.

I found myself today with a break in routine as we were unable to go swimming.   I dread these kind of days when our routine is disrupted and I don't have specific plans to fill it.  Typically, it's rained all morning forcing us to stay inside (it's been roasting the last 3 weeks, of course).  We tried finger painting for the first time (so messy), watched Disney films, looked at Disney holiday photos (for the millionth time) and still the morning dragged.  As soon as the rain lifted after lunch I shot the boys outside on their trikes, thinking that the fresh air would buck them up and give them a bit of exercise- WRONG!!!  We made it to the end of our road with one already walking and me holding the trike before indecision forced us to turn back home- thankfully.  However, one needed the potty halfway back and would not go in the road forcing me to carry him and the trike whilst yelling at the other one (bless him) to please hold his trike and try and walk/ride back quickly.  It must have looked a sight dumping one on the potty on the path once we made it back while running back to scoop up the other child and trike. I could go into more detail about how hideous this makes me feel when made to choose one twin over the other and it's always the same one who gets left.  And this always makes me so sad.

Like I said, it can be incredibly lonely, even when you have two beautiful children with you all the time.